Following God’s plan, Adam and Eve were completely open with each other and with God. Nothing was hidden. Not spiritually. Not intellectually. Not even their bodies. God knew, and provided for their every need. It was all perfect until Eve, quickly followed by Adam, decided they knew how to meet their needs better than God did.

From that moment they began to hide – the very opposite of intimacy. Poof! In quick succession scripture records the demise of all three dimensions of intimacy:

• First to go was physical intimacy, "…they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves." (Gen. 3:7)
• Next, spiritual intimacy fell: "… they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the Garden." (Gen. 3:8)
• Finally, intellectual intimacy succumbed, as Adam and Eve became adversaries in their efforts to excuse themselves: "The woman you put here with me – she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it." (Gen. 3:12)

Ever since, men and women have been trying to regain that three-dimensional intimacy, and Satan is working to keep us from achieving it – even to the present day.

In contemporary culture, Satan has found a new ally in the radical-feminist movement. In overt and tacit ways we are being conditioned to accept the ungodly premise that men and women are inherently adversaries. This erroneous notion is having a profound effect on modern marriage. But, that’s fodder for a future discussion.

The question at hand is, how do we regain the three-dimensional intimacy that God intended to characterize marriage?

In order to achieve intimacy, three conditions must exist, each one foundational to the ones to follow. Each is also a decision. The three are trust, commitment and vulnerability.

Trust is the foundation upon which any relationship is built, and it is initially an act of choice with little logical or experiential basis. Cautiously, we decide to trust. If it is not betrayed, and indeed is met with a reciprocal extension of trust, it grows. Layer by layer, the foundation is laid, until it is strong enough to support the next level, commitment.

Commitment provides the safety, an environment within which love can grow unafraid. It sustains the relationship when the winds of change assail. And, it makes vulnerability not only imaginable, but worth the risks it entails.

Vulnerability is a classic "catch 22." If we are vulnerable, we will be hurt – even within marriage. But, if we refuse to be vulnerable we can never achieve the intimacy that we crave. God put that craving within each of us, but we’ve been conditioned by betrayals, disappointments and culture to "watch our backsides." "Don’t care too much, nor depend too heavily, because you’ll surely be hurt."

However, if trust is intact and commitment is strong, the Spirit deep within us empowers us to risk again after being hurt. Over and over we are able to approach the one we love with trusting openness, complete intimacy. Nothing hidden. Completely vulnerable. Now, that’s what God intended for marriage from the very beginning.